I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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