i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
