so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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