there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
