Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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