doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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