My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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