Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Green mimosas i think yes
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
