best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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