Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
