They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
