I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
