I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
