I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
