Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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