Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
