i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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