I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
