He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
