please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
