Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This is not my ceiling
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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