And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
