that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
