She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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