This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
