Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize