There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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