You can't motorboat a personality
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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