I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Oh god it's open bar.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
