At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
