Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
