I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
