whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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