I'm so fucking centered right now
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
