my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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