i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I need moral support for this bender
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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