Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
