I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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