My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize