Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
