Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize