Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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