I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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