i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
