wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize