We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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