I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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