What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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