We won't sleep together?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The Olympian is in my bed
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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