So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
