If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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