But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
