i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
