chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
