Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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