The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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