I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
