I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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