sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize